photo credit- LULA Magazine

Monday, August 30, 2010

Pom-poms and dryer sheets



images from Le love and Free People

My boyfriend was out of town a lot this past month and so I was forced to embrace some alone time. I'm typically a social person, so I wasn't thrilled at the prospect, but soon found myself enjoying some time to myself. Most of it consisted of doing what I had been doing already, but in my underwear. For some reason, doing mundane things in the house becomes a thrill when you're just in your skivvies. It's weird, but I felt even more like an adult. I could cook dinner, provide for myself in the apartment that I pay rent for, AND I could do it in my underwear because there were no rules but my own. Surely, the boyfriend would not object to this behavior when he is indeed home, but it's different when you're alone. It's not like you're in your underwear to be sexy or alluring, you're just comfortable and free, and I felt like a kid, and I felt like such a grown-up all at once. Being in your underwear makes everything you do more fantastically sensory. You lie on a soft blanket and it is that much better because it is soft on your back, and your shoulders and your calves, all at once. Or you go with that urge to stretch your legs while you're standing in the kitchen because you can, because you don't have the constriction of jeans. Or you hang out outside on the porch (yes I hung out on the porch in my underwear.. our backyard is fairly tree covered I promise) and the breeze is so much more potent.

At my old hospital, after we had breakfast on the unit, the kids were sent to their rooms to get dressed, brush teeth and make their beds. They were mostly encouraged to do this on their own whenever possible, and the staff would monitor the halls to make sure the toothpaste wasn't being spread on the mirror and that no one was hiding dirty bed sheets in the closet (which someone tried almost daily). Anyways, all the kids had come back to the group room and we were going to start our daily programming but one was missing, let's call him Ron. He was the youngest of the little kids group, he had just turned 5 and had these big blue eyes that would just make your heart melt, even when he was screaming at you while pouring milk all over the kid next to him... okay, he made MY heart melt anyways. So, I went to his room to go check on him. Ron had a lot of sensory sensitivities and was likely somewhere on the Autism spectrum. When he was upset, he liked to be wrapped tightly in a big blanket and he would sit there and rock himself calm and while this image of quiet rocking just screams of instability when you picture it on an adult, when you're 5, it's cool. Anyways, I went to Ron's room and he was standing on his bed in nothing but his Lightning McQueen, Cars, pull-up. He had attempted the whole, getting dressed thing, but was distracted by the dryer sheet that was left in his laundry basket. He held it to his nose and was just breathing it in. His eyes were closed and I watched him for a good 30 seconds, not wanting to interrupt what was such a blissful moment.

For all the problems that Ron had, he was able to find complete joy and serenity in a dryer sheet. It went on for about ten minutes before we finally went back and brought him to group. Before we went back to the group room, he stashed the dryer sheet under his pillow, his secret hiding space that was also inhabited by a piece of thread and a tiny red pom-pom from crafts.

Just a reminder, that no matter what larger problems you have going on -and believe me, if you're 5 and you're in an inpatient psychiatric hospital, you probably have some heavy stuff happening in your life- having some quiet time to just be alone in your underwear, enjoying the simply things around you, is the most therapeutic thing you can do.

Happy lounging.

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